mlmichael

some kind of addict

Yes, I must admit,
I’m some kind of addict.
I’m a bee buzzing for a score of pollen
or I’m a bear jonesin for a pawful of honey.
and/maybe/either/or,
I’m a seeker in the desert,
who has lost myself on purpose
,
so I can find my new way

out[…]

Yes, I must admit,
I’m some kind of addict.
I’m a bee buzzing for a score of pollen
or I’m a bear jonesin for a pawful of honey.
and/maybe/either/or,
I’m a seeker in the desert, 
who has lost myself on purpose,
so I can find my new way 
out. 

12`12`06
M. L. Michael

About…

i can dream a poison that lasts for hours

I can dream poison.
I can dream a poison that lasts for hours.

My dream is a life that’s so
wonderfully unique to my own,
This dream where I can travel in out-of-body,
so I can’t experience any thing (any pain)
but I can understand everything that’s going on.[…]

I can dream poison.
I can dream a poison that lasts for hours.

My dream is a life that’s so
wonderfully unique to my own,
This dream where I can travel in out-of-body,
so I can’t experience any thing (any pain)
but I can understand everything that’s going on.

I dream myself in a crowd of merry goers,
and there’s this wonderfully unique girl,
who stands out like a beacon amongst her peers.
She’s this light brunette sunrise surprise, 
who can smile like a sculpture,
and laugh as sweet as a songbird. 

When I talk to her
I don’t stutter.
I say everything as eloquent
as if I had nights to dwell on their meaning.
I do everything in my power
to see her smile 
     to hear her laugh 
           to watch her breathe.
There in my dream I am the smoothest
that I’ve never been in my life.

A concert comes on, or 
some other great gala or another,
and we join the crowd and dance
we fall into each other’s rhythm.
we sing in sync with each other’s song.
there, together in a crowd, we dance, dance, dance,
there, one in a crowd, we smile, laugh, breathe.

That’s the moment I wake up,
the moment the poison takes effect.

11-19-06
M. L. Michael

About…

an er nurse says:

There is no horror like my horror.

Tonight a child was brought in,
clutching his teddy-bear matted in blood,
over his tummy,

over an abdominal gunshot soaked within
his Scooby-Doo pajamas, n[…]

An ER Nurse Says:
(there is no horror like my horror)

There is no horror like my horror.

Tonight a child was brought in,
clutching his teddy-bear matted in blood,
over his tummy, 
over an abdominal gunshot soaked within
his Scooby-Doo pajamas, 
where beneath a rose blooms 
deep enough to dip my pinkie.
The trauma unit responds vigorously,
and in the frenzy of survival someone tosses 
the kid’s teddy-bear into the trash.

(when he cries I think of my own.)

There is no horror like my horror.

Tonight a couple was brought in,
as the broken result from a motorcycle crash,
it took all three paramedics to pry them apart,
but it took an eighteen wheeler to tear them apart.
and when they were carried in as careful as coffins
our trauma unit responds passionately, 
but despite all our emotions,
someOne tosses 
the boyfriend’s life into the trash.

(when she cries I think of my own.)
 
There is no horror like my horror.
The only horror is my horror.

-10-17-06
M. L. Michael

About…

from the front lines

On the celebration home
my troop receives new orders
decreeing: we must return
to the desolate urban hell,
where there is so much blood
soaked into the history of the stones.[…]

from the front lines 

On the celebration home
my troop receives new orders
decreeing: we must return
to the desolate urban hell,
where there is so much blood
soaked into the history of the stones.
 
We depart with a world of heaviness
on our backs, and a world of weariness
on our hearts,
We depart following orders,
marching backwards through the desert.
 
Halfway there, one grunt breaks down,
in the middle of the city he stands up and blubbers:
”i can't go back, i can't go back,
 it's like you're constantly drowning.
 it's like you never get a chance to breathe!
 we're never going to escape!
 we're never going to—“
and before anyone could signal for him to hush
there's a whistle of air, and the grunt goes down.
 
no one talks the rest of the way back,
but everyone is replaying that as a mantra.
and everyone is questioning their motives.
and everyone is weighing their beliefs…
 is it necessary to go back?
 wasn't the reason we came:
 so that we never have to come back?
 isn't there a better answer than
attack and defend?
 
tomorrow we return to our station in hell,
where almost everyone there doesn't want us there.
and tomorrow we return to our duty.
where almost everyone here doesn't want us here.
but don't get me wrong,
tomorrow I will march hard and proud,
I will defend my country with all my heart,
but don't get me wrong,
I will never stop wishing for a better way.

-10-05-06-
M. L. Michael -

About…

how brave, how foolish

i was leaving my doctor’s office,
when i caught a herculean struggle,
between a sly spider and a wistful wasp –
they were gnashing, and stabbing,
they were grappling, and screeching,
in primordial combat – in a primitive play,
that exemplified the struggle of life:[…]

how brave, how foolish.

i was leaving my doctor’s office,
when i caught a herculean struggle,
between a sly spider and a wistful wasp –
they were gnashing, and stabbing, 
they were grappling, and screeching,
in primordial combat – in a primitive play,
that exemplified the struggle of life:
that they fight. 
and so they fought,
they fought, and they fought forever more. 
until exhausted, they both expired
and died in their silk embrace.

how brave, how foolish.

M. L. Michael 
09-24-06

About…

what’s in a F##K?

they met in the shadows
and all they did was
fuck, fuck, fuck.
because there in the shadows,
they were refugees from
love, love, love.[…]

what’s in a fuck?

they met in the shadows
and all they did was 
fuck, fuck, fuck.
because there in the shadows,
they were refugees from
love, love, love.

there he stabbed his pain away
and there she broke hers apart
there in the presence of never knowing
they shoveled in each other’s heart.

then after their agreement was over
they retreat separately into the dawn
until the night returns as always,
and their hole needs to be seen to again.

08-22-06
M. L. Michael

About…

burn a little burn

burn a little burn,
you tiny dancer of the flame.
groove a little groove,
and dance away all of your pain.
decry your little cry,
and signal the gods of the sky.
exclaim your little claim,
and hope to understand why.

burn a little burn, 
you tiny dancer of the flame.
groove a little groove,
and dance away all of your pain.
decry your little cry,
and signal the gods of the sky.
exclaim your little claim,
and hope to understand why.

8/22/06
M. L. Michael

About…

you, the god damning drunk…

would you hear me out,
if all i ask is for something small,
would it even matter if..
all i ask is for one day without the thirst,
one day without waking up thinking
about that desire for the drink
that steadily thrives into a must.[…]

you, the god damning drunk
(are not very eloquent) 

would you hear me out,
if all i ask is for something small,
would it even matter if..
all i ask is for one day without the thirst,
one day without waking up thinking 
about that desire for the drink 
that steadily thrives into a must.

if you would grant me that one wish,
so that i may own that one day,
i’d use it to arrange myself straight,
save whatever aches I must endure.
i’d gather up all my ducks first,
save whatever damage their pecking ensues.
i’d gather all my shit into one corner,
save whatever stench I couldn’t wash away.
if you would grant me that one wish,
i’d stop wasting, if only for one day
i’d stop wanting.

but that’s not possible, 
even if you could, i doubt you would;
lest i find my own damn way 
out of the dark..

ya know what, fuck you, 
for letting me entertain this idea,
for letting me be tonight’s entertainment,
with my drunkards jig, 
and my equally sillier speech..
yes, i may be saying this with a slur,
but my meaning still rings through.

yeah, so, fuck you 
for replying with your silence
as heavy as a look in the mirror..
because i know what it means
without having to know what it means..
(cuz’ this pain has to mean something,
right?)

yea, so fuck you,
you, the god damning drunk,
who needs to sleep it off.

\\08-17-06
M. L. Michael

About…

dealing with the reaper

Reaper, you came without warning.
one minute we were a happy, intact, family,
the next we are fearful of your knocking.
(…because you’re everything we wished to avoid,
knock, knock, knocking at our door…)[…]

dealing with the reaper

Reaper, you came without warning.
one minute we were a happy, intact, family,
the next we are fearful of your knocking.
(…because you’re everything we wished to avoid,
knock, knock, knocking at our door…)

Reaper, why won’t you ever go away,
is it because you are jealous
that life is so warm, and death is so cold,
(…or are you just doing your duty
because our life is so temporary, and your side is so forever?)

Reaper, where are you headed
with our loved ones in your carriage,
where are you steering your Nightmare steeds
so that we can never see the again?
(…and how come you are the only one,
who ever makes it back across the eternal fold?)

07-07-06
M. L. Michael

About…

vulgar: (her name is anyone)

she had a tattoo just below her belly:
it was a dictionary definition that read:
“a strong, positive emotion of love,
regard, and affection. (an antonym of hate)”

those were the letters inked just above
her sparsest patch of hair,
and etched deeper over her heart.[…]

vulgar: (her name is anyone)

	
she had a tattoo just below her belly:
it was a dictionary definition that read:
“a strong, positive emotion of love,
regard, and affection. (an antonym of hate)”

those were the letters inked just above 
her sparsest patch of hair,
and etched deeper over her heart.

she had a tattoo just below her belly.
which made me weary 
to bring my love home.
it was just a sentence i already knew,
but it still made me weary,
to take away what i knew meant more.

…all she asks is you know that definition
before you follow that trail in;
she doesn’t ask if you believe it or not, 
but it is clear she wishes you acknowledge it
before you follow that trail in.

because penetration is more penetrating
when love is left undefined…

M. L. Michael 
07-03-06